Annotation:
Sarah Hamal
Sarah's essay starts
with background information on what a sport is defined as. She takes a position
on this topic by stating how she thinks that pageants are distorting young
girls to think that beauty is what matters most. She shows understanding of this
topic by stating reasons why it does this, and then touching base on counter
arguments. She sites many places for evidence like an article by Lucia Grosaru
and news websites like the Newsweek. She uses specific examples like how
controlling mothers change the girls and the real cost of forcing your daughter
into pageants. She concludes her paper by stating her position on the subject
of pageants.
Analyzing her
Argument:
1. a. Pageants can be
more harmful than helpful to young girls.
b. The thesis is stated
clearly in the first few sentences of the first paragraph.
2. a. Her reasoning is
that controlling mothers are the ones who enjoy the pageants not the kids, the
tradition of doing pageants in the family can be harmful, and that even if the
girls enjoy it is it a good thing to let a little girl enjoy fake teeth and
overly edited pictures.
b. She uses quotes from
news articles and online magazines to support her claims.
c. The reasons are
plausible because many quotes come from people like psychologists who work with
these kids.
3. a. She addresses the
counter arguments in her 3rd paragraph and deals with them by proving them
wrong with facts.
b. She refutes them and
responds to them reasonably.
c. She respects the
argument but makes sure to prove that they are wrong.
d. Her arguments are
qualified because of the facts she uses.
4. The author uses news
articles and quotes from a psychologist.
a. She uses quotes from
them to prove her statement is true.
b. They are credible
because they are people who have experienced the emotional damage that comes
out of the pageants.
c. A lot of the sources
are from 2009, which is pretty decent and current.
5. The writer addresses
us as a reader by starting with a common question about sports.
a. She assumes that
people know what a sport is and is not but still writes her own
definition.
b. She does not include
you and we.
c. I think we share the
belief that little girls should not be forced to do something they don't enjoy
no matter how the mothers feel about it.
Micah Nelson:
Micah has back ground
information in the first paragraph by defining the dilemmas humans face and how
they could be helped. He takes a position by stating what he will be writing on
in this paper. He shows his understanding of the subject by stated what the
earth is impacted by in the next paragraph. He cites the U.S Energy Information
Administration website to make a point about how much energy is really used. He
uses reasoning from another author as evidence as well. He uses many specifics
throughout the paper like his thoughts on how electricity is effected by
climate change. At the end of his paper he states his position clearly in
the first sentence and throughout the conclusion.
1. The claim is that
people should cut back on energy.
a. He wants to make the
point that we can improve lives with less energy use.
b. His thesis is clearly
stated at the end of the first paragraph.
2. He uses quotes to
support his claims.
a. He states that
cutting back on energy means that it can help climate change, make a healthier
environment, and reduce bills.
b. He uses facts from
national websites and the news.
c. They are plausible
because he has the facts to support his claims.
3. a. There were no
counter arguments in his paper.
b. N/A
c. N/A
d. His own arguments are
qualified because he sticks to facts and not generalizations.
4. He uses quotes and
facts.
a. He uses them by
integrating quotes.
b. They are all credible
because they are national data websites and news articles that use correct
information.
c. His sources range
from 2000 to 2015
5. His addresses the
readers by using we and talking about the earth.
a. He assumes we all
live on earth and know that there are problems with our planet.
b. He includes the use
of we and you.
c. I think we share
beliefs because I know that using less electricity will save money and that our
planet is important to both of us.
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