Fourth grade is not a big deal to most kids. I was very wrapped up in my own life and couldn’t care less about what we were reading in class. I never thought it would lead me to my favorite book. Although I loved reading, I hated sitting still in a classroom full of sweaty kids for 20 minutes at the end of class just to figure out whether or not the story my teacher was reading was worth my time. I usually got through these moments by tugging on my friend’s hair and pulling it into a braid. Sometimes though, my teacher would pick an amazing chapter book, ones I would never consider reading, and she would work her way through it chapter by chapter. Most of the time, these books were clever life lessons I quickly picked up on and disregarded because who really wants to read books like that. But one day, all of those lessons changed. I found getting read aloud to painful and annoying. I wanted to open a book and finish it in a day, not drag it out over months of reading one chapter a day. The day my teacher pulled out Touching Spirit Bear by Ben Mikaelsen.
The walls were a buttery yellow, with several paintings on them. Vines and leaves on one wall and students art hung in frames around the room. Book shelves covered the base of the walls, and the windows were always open. Outside there were trees and birds were constantly singing. The desks were in rows of three, with special self-managers located next to the teacher’s desk. Computers were on one side of the room, old and beige with loud keys that stuck when pressed too hard. Cubbies were next to the sink, and to the right there was a Japanese box turtle named Tortel. 30 kids were in the room, and at the front they sat on couches and wooden chairs for storytelling and reading. We played with each other’s hair and tried to stay quiet while the old sassy teacher read Touching Spirit Bear.
My teacher had silvery grey hair and a pair of unrimmed glasses. She was pleasantly plump and wore loose t-shirts and slacks with black crocs. She had a small tattoo on her ankle as well. My closest friends wore shorts with t-shirts and we all had bangs. Other children wore jeans and a sweatshirt with the schools name on it. Everyone was tired, and barely kept their eyes open as we sat around on the cold floor. We circled her as she started the book, and I found myself falling deeper and deeper in love with it. This book was so different from anything I had ever read. The words flowed off my teacher’s lips like she had memorized them. I was so focused on the book I often found myself pulling too hard on a friend’s hair. We all looked attentively towards the teacher who read to us the book of her choice. When she got excited she would jump while reading or her eyes would expand and I was lost in it all. My friend’s never really understood my connection to the book and why I enjoyed it so much.
The book, Touching Spirit Bear by Ben Mikaelsen, focuses on a boy named Cole. Cole is an abused teenage boy, who finds himself in a lot of trouble with the law. With the possibility of being tried as an adult he quickly looks for an alternative choice to become part of the community again. Thinking he doesn’t have another chance at life, his parole officer helps Cole join a group called circle justice. Cole is shortly after asked to spend a year on a remote island in Alaska. Throughout the book I followed Cole in every choice he made, thinking on how people would react if I did the same thing. I told myself this book was it. This was as good as books were ever going to get. I connected with Cole in a much different way than I first expected. This book was shaping me into the person I wanted to become. I spent the next year reading it as much as possible, after getting my own copy for Christmas.
I wondered for a very long time why I connected to Cole. I had never lived on my own in the woods. I had never tried to fight a bear. I didn’t break laws and beat people up. I was a generally good kid when it came to the law and school. What I realized was I connected to his anger. Cole had never been good enough for anyone. I saw this as an in to his life. I had felt growing up pressure from my own parents and my teachers. I was expected to do well in all aspects of school, because I was good at it. I wasn’t able to release my anger like Cole was. I also found myself connect to his home life. While my parents aren’t physically abusive I find myself in the same frustrating situations Cole is in. This was a lot for fourth grade me to handle, but I understood why this book was important.
This book has helped me understand not to judge people and to show compassion toward others that we may not know. In some ways the book has helped me relate to others who have read it, and even others who have not. We can compare books and share our feelings on why the book impacted us. This particular book was important at the time because it showed how kids affect other people lives at any age. It also showed us family values and why it is important not to let your own family change your values. I am my own person and the book showed my younger self that I could be whoever I chose to be and change no matter how old I was. My life would not be the same without this book. It is possible I never would have learned to accept myself as I am and change my attitude towards my life. I needed to see that every day is precious and we must live life as well as we can even with challenges. Understanding how to be compassionate has helped me in many ways. When my friends talk to me about a certain situation in their life I can help them figure out a helpful solution. I learned what it meant to be willing to do anything to help someone and this book even helped me decide what I wanted to do when I grew up, which was becoming a teacher.
I realize now that this book was my first real outlet for my life. I tried to busy myself with books for years after this. Even now reading this book brings back memories of finding my true self. I remember the feeling I got from this book and how comfortable with myself I became. I remember finding myself living a happier life after reading this book. I was connecting to people better. I found a way to see positives in my life. This book is something I turn to for comfort. It might not be the most thrilling experience, and getting a book read aloud to you is excruciatingly painful but it definitely helped me grow.
No comments:
Post a Comment